Grief is weird. There’s steps or stages and really smart people have written books and done seminars on this topic. But my conclusion is that it doesn’t make sense. Why do we try to make sense of things that don’t make sense?
There’s no progression to grief. It’s just round and round… and round and round again. It’s a roller coaster ride of dips and turns, ups and downs. And I don’t think we ever get off.
We have all lost people we love (or pets who are family.) It’s never easy. There are moments it hurts so much you can’t catch your breath. There are moments of loneliness, fear, regret, guilt. There are moments of laughter as you reminisce…followed by tears as you realize you can’t add to those memories.
There are expectations of how you are “supposed” to feel. Why in the world do we expect people to think, feel, or act a certain way? And why do we worry that we aren’t feeling the way we think others expect us to? Isn’t grief enough without the expectations of others factoring in?
As we navigate this messy life, we are all forced to deal with grief. And I’m pretty sure there’s no right or wrong. You can cry. You can laugh. You can go back and forth. You can talk. You can not talk. You can need different things at different moments. And it’s all ok!
There’s a sense that grief is worse at Christmas time. But really is there ever a good time to experience grief? I don’t want to be insensitive to those who struggle through holidays because of difficult losses or empty chairs. My heart truly hurts for those of us celebrating holidays without loved ones.
But this year I have a new thought. What if grief is better at Christmas? Grief is certainly better because of Christmas. Christmas is hope. Not because of packages and lights and parties. Not because things are good right now, not because life is easy…but because Jesus came to earth as a baby in order to give us life and joy and hope.
As believers, we grieve differently from the world. We grieve with hope. Because the baby born in the manger grew up to be the man on the cross. And the ugly cross is no longer a symbol of death but a beautiful symbol of life.
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13
Walking the Path 